6th February 2025: it’s Time to Talk Day!

Time to Talk?  Do we need a specific day for that?  Surely, we talk all the time with friends, family and colleagues when making our morning coffee, or over lunch break?

All perfectly valid questions, but on this Time to Talk day, I would ask you to consider some more. 

When talking with others, how open are you?  Are there things that you hold back, or don’t show? 

How comfortable would you feel talking about your mental health, or listening to others share about theirs? 

During the conversations, do you listen as well as talk, and likewise, do you feel heard and listened to? 

Lots of different questions, and all that may lead to different answers.  I also acknowledge that they are not straightforward questions.  There are other considerations which may impact on the answers such as perhaps feeling able to be more open with one person over another.  Or you might have different types of conversations with different people, or when in different settings or environments.  All of these can be understandable factors, as are things such as how safe you feel with that person (will they listen to you, how will they respond to what you’re sharing), your past experiences and how these left you feeling, and whether it is something that has been supported or encouraged.

Time to Talk day was launched in 2014 by Mind and Rethink Mental Illness, as part of their Time to Change campaign, and was created as a way of encouraging people to be open about mental health and to talk about how we really feel.  The aim is to support communities to feel comfortable with talking about mental health.

According to the website, Time to Talk day in 2024 identified that ‘nearly two-thirds of the UK public put on a brave face to avoid talking about their mental health’, and ‘nearly half of us are less likely to open up as we don’t want to worry others…’.

Whether we agree with this information, or whether we want to ask questions of it, it remains significant, and I for one, can say that even though I am a counsellor, there has been times when I have done both things.

In a world that can sometimes feel relentless, when people are busy and running from one thing to another, or managing everyday pressures and stresses, it can feel hard to reach out and speak with someone. 

We don’t want to add to what others are experiencing, or we worry that they might see us in a certain way. 

We don’t want to change people’s opinions of us or lead them to be questioned. 

There might be a concern that you should ‘be’ or ‘feel’ a certain way, and that sharing something different to this might lead to judgement or non-acceptance.

However, it might also not be like this.

Sharing how you feel with someone else, might lead to support. 

It might lead to a feeling of relief, of being seen and heard. 

It might lead to kindness, understanding and acceptance.

It might leave you feeling less alone.

Talking can feel scary.

It can feel like a leap into the unknown, a risk.

The Time to Talk website offers the following tips:

1.      Find a way that feels right for you – face to face, on the phone, or perhaps writing it down.

2.      Find a suitable time and place – it might feel easier to be on a walk, side-by-side, rather than sat face to face, and you might also have a time of day when you feel more able to start the conversation.

3.      Practice what you want to say – you might find it easier to have a starting point.  You can write some things down to help you, or you might think it through in your mind.

4.      Be honest and open – this can sometimes be hard as it involves being vulnerable with others, but by being open and honest, and sharing what is happening and how you are feeling, will help others to understand.

Talking doesn’t have to be someone that you know, or with someone in your existing network.

It’s not always possible to speak with those who we may wish to, or there may be a feeling of not being able to approach others in your life about what you wish to talk about.  That is where talking to a professional, such as a counsellor, or with an organisation such as those that support mental health, or are relevant to what you are going through, can help. 

On this Time to Talk day, why not take the first step, whether that be sharing how you feel, or asking someone else how they are.

Start the conversation.

Take the time to talk.

For further information on Time to Talk day, and for further tips including how to support someone, as well as how to share yourself, please go to the website: www.timetotalkday.co.uk

Organisations which provide support include:

o   Samaritans – call 116 123 to speak to someone confidentially (available 24/7)

o   Shout – text SHOUT to 85258 for 24/7 text crisis support

o   CALM – call 0800 068 4141 for free if you need help

Local support may also be available in your area, such as through regional Mind branches – details can be found by searching online for support in your area.